The distance between us

The distance between us, 

remains the same, 

only it'll be on you, 

to walk it now. 

It's the same long road, 

often ill-lit, 

dusty, 

crowded, 

only I'll not be taking it

to and fro, 

and to and fro, 

over and over again, 

to run from you, 

and to come running back to you, 

only to run from you again! 

Running from myself 

as I run from you, 

everytime! 

Running away from 

all the bitter arguments

and all the sleepless nights, 

running, 

grabbing the child along,

running for assylum, 

for ever-elusive peace, 

even as the child cries out, 

'Oh, no Mommy! '

'Where did Daddy go? '

Me telling him, 

'Daddy's gone to Office, baby!

We're going to Nanna's, 

We'll come back when he comes back! '

It'll still be the same road, 

only I'll walk this time, 

not run! 

Slow, measured steps, 

calculated risks, 

pre-calliberated answers, 

that I've run in my head, 

over and over and over, 

hundreds of times, 

crying, laughing, indifferent, numb! 

Answers I'll have to have,

to all the never-ending questions, 

that I'll be asked, 

today, 

tomorrow, 

and when the child grows up! 

Only they are not mine alone to answer now. 

For you will be asked the same questions, 

with the cover of marriage gone, 

leaving the carcass

of our long-dead love exposed for all to see. 

The distance between us

remains the same, 

only we'll never be able to cover it now, 

as I walk away, 

for good. 

Today!

17th October, 2023